Astrology Meets Technology: Your CPU’s Cosmic Destiny

Programmer Lukas Zampieri has ventured into a unique blend of IT and astrology by creating a Linux CPU scheduler that operates based on the positions of planets within the Solar System. This fully functional task scheduler makes CPU scheduling decisions grounded in real-time planetary positions, zodiac signs, and astrological principles.

For instance, if you’re a Gemini working on your computer on April 10, 2026, your tasks may experience up to 50% slower processing times. The comprehensive scheduler, sched_ext, has been developed to make realistic CPU workload decisions by evaluating real-time planetary alignments.

Zampieri has integrated this system into the Linux kernel, purposefully planning system tasks. His concept raises the amusing notion, “If the universe impacts our lives, why not influence our CPU’s task management?”

This innovative scheduler links cosmic bodies like the Sun, associated with vitality in astrology, to critical system processes within the software. Mercury, symbolic of communication, governs network and input-output tasks. Playing into astrological quirks, zodiac influences become particularly amusing. For example, air signs like Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius can accelerate network operations by 1.5x, illustrating the playful yet impactful integration of celestial alignments into technology. The widely acknowledged retrograde phases also have their say; tasks under the sway of a retrograding planet receive a 50% time penalty.